Ask the Editors: Challenging Bosses
How to deal with challenging bosses as a PMM.
Thank you to Alex Virden for joining us as a guest editor for this month’s advice column! If you have a question for a future issue submit it here.
Q: How can someone effectively cope with a demanding boss without sacrificing their well-being?
Alex Virden: If you tend to be a recovering people pleaser like me, this can be extremely hard, but working through how to play defense in stressful and demanding situations is so critical to get out of a constant state of anxiety, burnout, and panic.
What's helped me?
* Set clear boundaries: Establish work-life boundaries and communicate them. It's critical to do things like calendar blocks and share reminders during 1:1s to make sure your boss knows when you are available and when you are not. Leveling expectations and over-communicating can help a lot, especially in remote capacities when Slack/emails can be interpreted differently.
* Prioritize tasks: Focus on the most critical tasks that will have the biggest impact. Use the "So what? What else? Now what?" questions to assess task importance and streamline your workload – collaborating on this with a boss can help break down communication silos or misunderstandings. A lot of stress can be lifted by keeping your "eyes on the prize" not to let scope creep or other tasks get in the way.
* Delegate and collaborate: If possible, delegate tasks that others can handle and collaborate with your team to share the workload. RACI is your friend in product marketing - you rarely need to go at something alone. This can help manage stress and prevent burnout.
* Take care of your well-being: Incorporate stress-relief activities such as exercise, meditation, and hobbies into your routine. For example, I swim, take my dog on walks, and play the banjo. Ensuring you have time for self-care is crucial for maintaining your well-being.
*Seek feedback and support: Seek support from colleagues or mentors to navigate challenges. Last summer, I worked with a career coach, and it really helped me with steps 1-4.
Q: How can employees navigate challenging dynamics, such as the tension between founders and product marketing leaders, that may impact their role and well-being?
Alex Virden: Product marketing can be challenging to navigate due to internal dynamics: old guard vs. new guard, marketing vs. product, founder vs. GTM. In start-ups, it can often feel like the bullseye is on your back. One wrong move, and the fingers point at you.
When I’ve been caught between disagreeing GTM leaders, I focus on these areas:
*Understand perspectives: Make an effort to understand the motivations and pressures faced by each team and founder. This helps to show you empathize with the situations at hand and can often uncover common ground.
* Focus on shared goals: Identify common objectives, such as business growth and customer satisfaction, and align your efforts towards these shared goals. Coming into these conversations with a data-backed perspective can also illuminate “areas of assumption” and bring perspectives closer together and in line with the goals of the organization.
*Facilitate open communication: Encourage regular and open communication - a lot gets lost in emails, Slack, and the “telephone game” post-meetings. Having an open dialogue ensures that everyone is on the same page regarding goals and strategies. Use structured meetings and discussions to address issues constructively.
*Build strong relationships: Invest time in building personal relationships with both founders and GTM leaders. Understanding each other on a personal level can reduce misunderstandings and foster a collaborative environment.
By taking these steps, you almost always know where you stand. It’s like my Nonna always said - there’s nothing you can’t get through if you’re just honest and open.
Q: Are there specific strategies for addressing issues with a problematic boss if there's no HR department available, which may be the case at startups?
Alex Virden: The one time I experienced a situation where there was no HR, I went to the CFO and the Founder. They were advocates for me and helped mediate the situation because:
* I documented everything. I kept detailed records of all interactions and incidents involving the problematic behavior with my boss. It was crucial when I needed to escalate the issue.
*I sought informal mediation.The CFO was in my corner. He had seen hints of my boss's behavior. I knew I could trust him - he provided me advice day-to-day, acting as a mentor, and once the situation escalated, he was ready to intervene.
*I communicated clearly and assertively. Before the situation escalated to involving the CFO and Founder, I addressed issues directly with my boss using clear and direct communication explaining how his actions impacted my work. While this didn't ultimately resolve the problem, it set a tone that I was serious about how uncomfortable I was with the behavior.
*I planned for transition. What happened rendered my situation untenable, so I started planning for a transition. I found a new role but was able to work directly for the CFO and Founder for years after I left.